If The Trailer's Rockin When Mr. Death Comes Knockin, Don't Open The Damn Door!

I have been gone for the past three plus weeks on what I thought was going to be a short sabbatical and quick cure to a little something I managed to pick while traveling in an unnamed Communist run foreign country in the south of Asia whose name rhymes with "myna", and as I have found out the hard way is a virtual cesspool of pollution and strange diseases. I was visiting several years ago on business at the time of a certain epidemic that rhymes with "bars", when I got just plain sick and thought it to be a simple bronchial infection or so my primary care physician told me. Actually it started out like bronchitis than after several rounds of antibiotics was told it was acute bronchitis and then after several more rounds of antibiotics and now breathable steroids it was upgraded to acute bronchitis and pneumonia. At that point in the progression I was referred to a local Pulmonary guy who was supposed to be one of the top fifty pulmonary doctors in a certain large American metropolitan area, according to some locally published hi-brow magazine that I am now convinced no one reads and only turns up in the magazine racks of doctor's offices to impress their patients with their notoriety while they wait for their appointment to come up, when in actuality they probably got that ranking from the purchase of a large ad in said magazine, kind of like lawyers and their yellow page ad's. Then after several more rounds of antibiotics and a watershed moment when I realized there was no help to be found from one of the top fifty guys in my area I went to a large University hospital where I got many more rounds of antibiotics and very little encouragement regarding a cure for my ailment, and the condition worsening by the month. Well, now that I have that little bit of history out of the way I can get down to the subject for today, and though it seems like sob story Sunday it has nothing to with a sob story at all, just the opposite.

When I finally sought out the best care in the world, yes the world, a whole new world opened up for me, but before that world opening I had several revelations to deal with regarding the human condition and mortality. First I was told that what I have is incurable and that where I am is where I'm at and what it is, is what it is and what it is, is not good, in fact it's really bad. This was not what I wanted to hear since I had taken the initiative to go to this best care place because I had full confidence that they would have me up and running in the blink of an eye. The situation was further exacerbated when I was ushered into one office after another for tests and each person attested to the severity of what I had culminating in a visit to a psychologist's office where I was asked quite bluntly if I had any thoughts of suicide as a result of the diagnosis's I was receiving, that was the low point. I thought as I walked to my car at the end of the day, a very large Scotch on the rocks in a well padded booth in the back of some very dark cocktail lounge would be most appropriate, then I realized I quit drinking thirty five years ago because that lounge idea, as appealing as it was at that precise moment, would only serve to effect a quicker demise. So, before looking for a cliff to jump from I thought it best to wait until the final opinion from the doctor was rendered.

The following day I got the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I was told I could live a relatively normal life if I was willing to alter my lifestyle somewhat, do almost everything I had done in the past with only slight adjustments, good news I would say. Still the most frustrating part of this whole experience was trying to wrap myself around the entire circumstance and get comfortable with the fact that in reality the end could come quickly if there were any further complications. Soooooo, I am on to my new fitness regimen each and every day for the rest of my life, which I hope will be long, prosperous and of course healthy. I walk, lift weights, work on a cardio machine,use a medical device for lung clearing and take whatever medication I am told to use and for the most part I am feeling good, so good in fact that when a car drove into the pedestrian area I was occupying, over the weekend I abruptly brought it to the attention of the driver, then called him an idiot, reminded him that pedestrian's still have the right of way and then told him to go f _ _ k himself for good measure, ah, there's nothing like feeling like your old self.

We all have choices in this world, and since I have no idea whether or not we get a second go around and who knows what we come back as if we do, karma being what it is, I would like to make the best of this one. I was told I could sit down and fade away slowly or I could make adjustments and fight to the finish. I will not go easily.